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"I'm giving all of you a rather unusual assignment this week. Let us suppose you are seeking a person of the opposite sex -- or even of the same sex if you are so inclined -- for romantic purposes. One method of doing so is through the personal ads in various publications and venues. Well then, write a personal ad. Pour your entire soul into a paragraph or two. Push your imagination and creativity to the limit. Craft the ad as if the rest of your life, or your love life anyhow, depended on it."I will, of course, award a top grade for the best-written ads. Additionally, as a special incentive, I have arranged with the editor of the well-known Voice of the Millennium Monthly to have the three best ads published in their personal ads section. So, you might get national exposure, and a pipeline to thousands of potential boy or girlfriends at no cost to you. Good luck and good writing."Awaken the sleeping princess. A shy and sweetly virginal maid awaits the knight whose kiss will set her. I HATED having to use this ability because floating around as a disembodied spirit was always so disconcerting, mainly because of the intense feeling of vertigo I always got. That, and its pretty trippy not being able to feel, smell, or interact with anything. As a ghost that would be invisible to humans, I floated up through the cellar doors and onto the sun drenched lawn of the abandoned house. The intense sunlight couldnt hurt me in this form, but the brightness was still damned uncomfortable. After taking a second to get my bearings I looked to the street and found my would be attackers. There were twelve cops in all, huddled behind the doors of six squad cars that had their lights flashing like a crappy rave party, and every one of the twelve officers was armed with a high powered assault rifle, and one even had a tear gas launcher. Fuck. This was going to be more complicated than I thought, especially since there was also a crowd of onlookers gathered at the very edge of a.
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